matrifunny

Thursday, March 17, 2005

Moving!

We're moving. Well, kinda. We're merely trading apartments, and ditching our carpet for more cat friendly hardwood floors. It's just across the hall, and we are so underprepared. This is going to be an interesting weekend.

Friday, March 04, 2005

Self Image

Of course no one really likes their own picture. But you would think my wife could post up a shot of me that doesn't involve a a wierd face?

Monday, February 28, 2005

Meet Xavier "My Mom Sold Me Out" Perla

jacklyn418: hey jourdan!
jacklyn418: what about naming our son, xavier perla?...
Jourdan: yeah.. like jourdan isn't hard enough to spell
jacklyn418: no no
jacklyn418: we'll just call him window
jacklyn418: get it
Jourdan: window?
jacklyn418: "Window" XP
jacklyn418: HAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAH
Jourdan: *sigh*
jacklyn418: *snicker*
jacklyn418: it's funny
jacklyn418: *mourns for jourdan's inability to make fun of our future children*
Jourdan: yeah.. like that wouldn't doom him to ADD
jacklyn418: hee hee
jacklyn418: eh..he starts acting to nutso and i'll just "blue screen" his butt
jacklyn418: "don't make me ALT+F4 you, xavier"
Jourdan: uh-huh
jacklyn418: *shakes head*..i pity you...

Update:
Paul didn't think it was too funny either. *sigh* And my target market was engineers & geeks. Oh well...back to the drawing board.

Thursday, February 24, 2005

tree hugger in the making

So my wedding wasn't exactly what I'd always dreamed it to be. Which considering I, unlike most girls I know didn't have a "dream" wedding isn't necessarily a bad thing. But the flowers weren't exactly the ones I wanted them to be from M.S. Wedding and the dress didn't look as great on me as I would have liked since I was a bit flabby. So basically my wedding wasn't perfect, it was great, it was more than I needed but it wasn't what someone would call a "perfect" wedding. For example, the minister accidentally gave Jourdan my wedding vows to repeat and had to be corrected. But even though it wasn't perfect it was, for me.

Cause after year or two of therapy I have discovered something Sharon (my therapist) said on the first day to be true. "There is no perfect." Just like there is no enough and there is no Santa (okay the last one was just cruel). But my perfect might not have been Jourdan's perfect and vice versa. So why work so hard for something you'll never have? *shrug*

Cause in the end, I LOVED my wedding. Yeah there are certain things that I'll always think "I could have done..." but it's those lil things that make it mine. I'm not Martha "Prisoner 0094613" Stewart and THANK GOD! So in the end..yeah..my marriage just like my wedding might never be perfect but if it were perfect I don't think I could stand to be in it. (I will not be a woman with a clean house...ever.)

I realize this is quite touchy feely, with the whole Kum-ba-ya bonding, and for that I apologize. It appears that CA has turned this Okie into a hippie. I could start hugging trees AT ANY MOMENT.

Wednesday, February 23, 2005

Hemmingway Spiral

Some background to that post.

"Hemmingway spiral" refers to the fact that if mrs. jack were to die and leave me behind, I plan to go on a self-destructive long-term bender that would make Ernest Hemingway proud. Or Hunter S. Thompson.

Though I am disapointed in HTS. I expected more from him in terms of suicide. Reading through various obits and rememberances about him, I realize that he felt overwhelmed by his "Raoul Duke" hyper-gonzo persona. But, if you're going to cash out, you might as well make it worth remembering. It doesn't have to be over the top, it could be understated. But at least should be something to make the coroner raise an eyebrow.

Now, don't worry, I'm not planning anything concrete just yet. Mrs. jack and I have many, many years ahead of us. But it's good to know she's okay with the occaisional session of paid sex therapy.

Update (2/24/05):
That's much better.

theraputic whoring

jacklyn418: wow..so how much of PA did you identify with?
jacklyn418: "okay..now that's totally true"
Jourdan: hehe
jacklyn418: "she always wanted a house..it's a shame that it took the EA settlement to get it..but i'm sure wherever Stephanie is..she's happy.........for me..and my new Playboy bunny gf"
Jourdan: well...it's more of a i'll need all i can get for my hemmingway spiral
jacklyn418: suuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuure..with your playboy bunny
Jourdan: i won't lie.. there probably will be some whores involved...but nothing serious
jacklyn418: HAHA
jacklyn418: well as long as it isn't serious..i mean i can understand using whores as therapy..but having a relationship with one is just going too far

and this man thinks he can't tell a joke, why?

every once in a while i speak his language...

i don't understand the male psyche. i don't think as a woman it'd even be healthy for me to try. who knows i might start enjoying the oggling of breasts (i kinda already do), finding an exorbinant amount of relief in scratching, and develop a sixth sense about how to open things with my teeth. so most of the time i just use my female mind and translate his actions into a convuluted mess and end of with a relatively messy answer for something as simple as "where do you want to go to lunch?"

however there are_times_when i experience a role reversal and see him as he must see me. such a rare moment is this. and it is now.

the back story: i blog from time to time and thought that since he has taken to idea of blogging but lacks a starting point, i'd be all handy and helpful and give him one, namely said blog. i figured it's easiest to write about what you know and by now he knows us. so regular ol' a+b=17 female mind formula. a being he needs something, b = i know the solution, and 17 equaling a totally off the wall solution that doesn't really work for either of us. so after i gave him my grand solution, he said he needed time to think..something about not wanting to share his most important relationship with the rest of the blogosphere or something. HA! (it's not like_anyone_reads this stuff, anyway!) but still he had reasons and wanted to think it through. a very mature, anti-wife way of doing stuff but i figured i'd nag him about it later. and then i forgot. oops!

anyway, yesterday he IMs saying he's decided to post and i load the site expecting something intriguing and keep reloading and reloading. turns out it's blank, no matter how many different browsers i reload it with. so i IM him asking where the thesis of our love is and he says he's run dry and he can't think of anything to write. so being lil helpful wifeykins i offer up some funny moment yet it feels false as if it's being forcefed (hmm...wonder why?) and so he opts not to post. and then he finally comes out with it and says "i don't think i'm a very good at being funny." and instantly i become defensive, HOW DARE HE NOT THINK HE'S THE FUNNIEST PERSON ALIVE? (since Johnny Carson just died--it's now justifiably true) i opt not to berate him with questions and reassurance since it's almost 5. but his doubt about him being funny still lingers.

and here's where the title comes to fruition kids. i now see how he must see me. i get it. when i'm feeling all anti-me and down in the dumps and he gets all "defensive and lovey" it's not him being nice (although it is) but it's actually his response to such a preposterous idea that "i'm not (insert something) enough." so i get it or more to the point him. he loves me and he loves that (insert something) about me and the idea that i don't think it's enough is INSANE because it's more than enough for him and it's perfect. so while he may never write in this blog and it might wither away (sympathy beg) on the blog vine--it's okay--cause i totally speak jourdan now. and who needs a blog when you're already bilingual.